Quaker’s Oatmeal Deceit
“Everything you LOVE about QUAKER OATMEAL,” it says inside a graphical ribbon on the front. An illustrated steaming bowl of oatmeal and a poorly-drawn sprig of what appears to be wheat. (Brilliant.)
Oatmeal to Go: Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Oatmeal Squares. Sounds delicious, right? Its soft, dense texture just waiting to be handled like a moist oatmeal cookie. At the time, I succumbed more to the curiosity than the anticipation of pleasure; that and I knew I didn’t want my dearest eating this crud but I couldn’t bear to throw it out. So, I ate it. And it was good.
Not.
I microwaved it (but not in its microwaveable *toxic* plastic wrapper) as I was supposed to. Too hot. I remember it was hard and distastefully sweet, not chewy. Nothing like oatmeal. I don’t know what people love about Quaker oatmeal or what Quaker oatmeal is like — I bought their whole rolled oats a few times but I think that’s a bit differe — but I have to say I was at least mildly disappointed.
Being the packrat and health closet-activist that I am, I kept the wrapper. I found it whilst cleaning my desk and thought it was time to re-evaluate the ingredients now that I have a personal “banned” list (a generous list of food and chemical sensitivities).
“Rolled oats.” Whole? Doubtful. Followed by sugar, sugar, oat flour, and crisp rice.
This crisp rice contains malt which contains corn extract and hydroxylated soy lecithin, among other things. Yummy. Bring on the genetically-modified sh*t and toxic by-products. More oat flour, margarine (contains soy), more sugar, modified food starch (uh, what?), more rice flour, glycerin, dried whole eggs, corn syrup (high fructose GMO), yadda yadda yadda… yellow corn flour, blah blah blah… corn starch, soy protein… ylang ylang… sodium hexametaphosphate (wha???)… natural and artificial flavours (both synthetic)… BHT, sulphites. …May contain traces of peanuts and other nuts.
In other words, don’t eat it.
And I haven’t even touched on the “nutritional” information.
1 square = 60 grams = 220 calories. Yikes! Trans fats, high sodium, almost NO vitamins — again, what is it we love about oatmeal? certainly not its wonderful nutrition! — almost NO fibre or iron, a mere 4 grams of protein and a whopping 20 grams of sugar for 43 grams of carbohydrates. And that’s somehow only 14% of a 2,000 calorie diet. Wait a second, 20 grams of sugar in a 60 gram package? That’s a third!
Now compare to whole rolled oats, which according to Quaker have twice as much of the good stuff (except vitamin A: none) and hardly any of the bad. Sure, 60 grams of it is 240 calories (apparently), those calories aren’t coming from refined sugar. In fact, there’s none at all. Better yet, 30 grams of these oats make one serving of oatmeal, a long-lasting breakfast. These squares are basically like two servings of oatmeal with half the nutrients. And they don’t even taste good. They’re also imported (though Canada is a top producer of oats) and Quaker is owned by Pepsico. Now what do you think of it?
Oatmeal to Go, “all the nutrition of a bowl of instant oatmeal.” Yeah, exactly.